My husband, Chris and I were still living with my parents after moving home from CA 9 months prior. Chris just finished his service with the Marine Corps so we still didn’t have a house of our own in MI yet. When my son, Connor was about 4 months old, we bought a house and I was staying at home full time. I was so blessed that was an option for us, it was all I ever dreamt of doing!
But, Chris was at a job that he hated and I was heading down a path that was quickly going downhill. Post Partum Depression was sneaking up on me. I didn’t know it, I didn’t feel it right away, I just knew I wasn’t myself, but with crazy hormones and being my stubborn self, I was trying to just be FINE! When in reality, I felt like I had a billion things to do in a day and it was all on me to get it done. I felt depressed that I was not financially helping now that we had a house and bills and a son! I was pissed that my body was R U I N E D! I felt pissed that I didn’t know what I was doing to raise this little child. By the time my son was about a year old I felt like there was no Morgan left to me, I was just mommy. I had no hobbies. No friends. And that’s when I knew I needed a change.
Let me back track even further…Chris and I were high school sweethearts, got married a year into his USMC service, I was 19 years old and I moved to CA to be with him. They gave us a house and we were set for the next four years. So at 22 years old, after “living the young newlywed dream” in CA we came home and didn’t have much time to adjust back to civilian life, let alone parenting. But in a blink of an eye, our lives were flipped!
So back to 2015; little did I know at the time, I was pushing my husband, my best friend, away from me. I became controlling. And angry with him. Which was only making it harder on me to parent Connor by myself. I thought getting a job would make me happier so I wasn’t so consumed in motherhood 24/7. Get out of the house, get some sanity back, send Connor off to daycare and just do the thing that everyone else around here does. So that’s what we did. Thankfully, all the grandparents live close by to help! Not long into the first job, I was still a depressed mess. Now I was just a mess because I was missing things to do with my son, milestones and talking, it was breaking my little heart!
After a lot of back and forth, denial, stress and job movements for both my husband and myself, I finally decided that home is where I belong. Since a little girl myself, I can remember thinking about one day when I would be a mom and I wanted one boy and one girl, the boy to be first so the little girl can have a protective older brother just like ME!
And you better believe it…What did God give me?
Fast forward to now…My first born son Connor is turning 6 and my daughter Madison is 3.5!! A M E N!!!
Being at home with my kids has been a dream of mine all my life and to sit here writing out my life has me in awe at how good our God is. My life could have been a lot different, as I’m sure we all could say right? but it’s all about our choices and listening to that little voice inside us.
So anyways, everyday is still a battle with my mindset, with self doubt and depression but the difference now, is I have the tools and the WANT to continually fight those battles inside me.
Now, I have the faith to be bigger than my fears.
Now, I have the confidence to know what I deserve.
Now, I have the knowledge to get what I deserve.
Now, I know everyday is a choice to have a good attitude or a bad one.
And now…My husband Chris and I, two kiddos, two doggies, one cat, two guinea pigs and currently raising three piglets…..are here on 17 acres in Michigan!!
We are in our second year of homeschooling, Chris is at a job he loves and is open to a lot of great opportunities for the future. I am absolutely loving homeschooling as we just are getting started on an actual curriculum for Connor. (Can’t wait to tell you all about it!!) Raising pigs is a first for us and it has been a blast so far! Our doggies do everything with us, I love to bake, and eat anything sweet! 🙂 And now for the past year I have found a direct sales company that I absolutely love that let’s me have something for myself, while at home 24/7 and help fellow mom’s in the process!!
Hopefully now, you can imagine what my days look like a little more and I can’t wait to dive in and show you all about our homeschool life, running a business and all the curves of motherhood and wife life, plus more!
Until next time,